Mirror Neurons VI: Call and Response
Writing this series on Mirror Neurons has started to change me. Could it be that the way a very young child sees the world describes a truer reality than our adult eyes can see?
Most developmental models show us evolving, from a “magical” state in which all minds interpenetrate, to a “mature” mindset based upon independence and separation. We create an ego and sustain it. We invent games, and negotiate the rules. We have “mine” and “yours.” We copyright and trademark and patent, buy and sell. We contract our everyday lives on the basis of ownership and identity.
But if what mirror neurons tell us is true, then what is identity? In any interaction, our mirror neurons are automatically, unconsciously absorbing the information from the other person – and then playing it back to them. And so it goes, with every eye movement, gesture, yawn, thought. How can we know what belongs to us personally, when we are reading the music of our interactions off the scores of one another? What can we honestly claim as our identity – every other pixil on the screen?
Yesterday, a new client, a little girl with Down’s and autism, started crying the moment she came in the door of my office. She crawled to the piano and started banging her head against it. Nothing seemed to console her.
Fortunately, the weather was unseasonably warm, and I suggested that we take the little girl outside. Nature is a balm, even when the only available source is one tree by a sidewalk and some unconfined air.
The child was stuck in the Moro Reflex. Most reactive, inconsolable kids are. Moro, which emerges at about nine weeks in utero, eventually integrates into the adult “startle” response. Imagine: you’re waiting for the bus, and it pulls up too close to the curb, spraying water in your direction. You involuntarily jump backwards, of course! A stuck Moro is as if time had stopped for you mid-air. There is no beginning or end to the alarm.
There was no way I could touch the girl, of course. So I used mirror neurons.
While the mother held the child, I held an intention of calm. I looked into her eyes, and sang her name, and did the Moro response. I gasped, and threw my shoulders and arms backwards. I did it over and over.
The child watched me with interest. Then she turned and held her mother, and was rocked. I continued to surround her with intention. Calm descended.
Here’s how the Moro Reflex goes:
Part A, Danger: I’m startled, my head and shoulders drop back, and as I gasp my arms fly up in alarm!
Part B, out of immediate danger: I let out my breath and relax; my body curls inward.
Part C, safety in relationship: I grab for my mommy; she’s there.
That week, the little girl had begun a new and problematical behavior. She had begun to reach out with one hand and hit any person within range. It can be emotionally difficult, and even dangerous, to be holding a child who hits you -even if you know the motion is an involuntary reflexive reaction.
As we ended the session, the little girl reached out toward me from her mother’s arms, and hit me on the cheek. I smiled and looked into her eyes. I said, “I love you” and used her name. It wasn’t hard. Her eyes were very very deep.
She looked at me. Then she reached out with the same hand and patted my cheek. She smiled. She held my chin. Her touch was exquisitely gentle.
That’s all.
When there are those moments of presence, you can’t really talk about them. One could say, OK, for now the Moro Reflex is integrated, things should get a little calmer. One could make recommendations for future work.
But although one can talk about what happened as a step in a positive process, that’s not really what it is. It is not a result. It is not an intervention. It is not anything.
It’s just what’s real.
Comments
You’re welcome, Carol! Regarding the Moro Reflex -
you can see it in a whole group, sometimes. It’s
characterized by a kind of random reactivity, high
energy and lack of focus, not necessarily caused by
anything you can see . . . so when that’s the case,
it’s great to do a song or a movement game that
integrates the Moro.
In African Dance, it’s the expansion/contraction move -
shoulders back, arms bend up at the elbows, followed by
the opposite - shoulders in, hands come towards one
another.
Or you can just do some “surprise” movement - gasp and
throw shoulders back, hands up.
It’s built right into the movements for some
traditional songs, particularly African-American ones .
. . I’m thinking of Dem Bones Gonna Rise Again. Here’s
a Youtube version that uses the same lyrics I learned
at summer camp:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dgVdWii47rk
The movements I remember are pure Moro - every time you
sing “knows it”, do a Moro! (on “indeed”, roll your
hands around one another- it’s a nice wind up to the
next “Moro” response).
"Miss Carole" Stephens Feb 05, 2012
Facinating, Eve! Thanks you for breaking this down scientifically! It’s so difficult to figure out why things happen, especially when I seldom see children individually, but having insight into the Moro Reflex is one more tool in my arsenal!
Keep up the great blogs!