New Year's Intentions
Just before the New Year, there is a sort of lull. It is after the brunt of the holiday season, but before ordinary life resumes in earnest, We still have another vacation day or two ahead. It is a time when think about what we might like to be different in the coming year, and about what we might do to make that happen.
I don’t find the concept of “New Year’s Resolutions” very helpful. Usually, we don’t keep them, and this experience of “failure” ultimately reinforces the unsatisfactory status quo.
Sometimes we don’t keep our resolutions because we set our sights unrealistically high. Often, we don’t really look at the problems we wish to change in a new way.
So instead of specific “New Year’s Resolutions,” I set general “New Year’s Intentions.” Rather than targeting the sore spots, I phrase things in terms of how I would feel if those sore spots weren’t there.
For instance, instead of “losing weight” or “exercising more,” I might set an intention for health and wellness. Instead of resolving to “be a better mom,” I might set an intention for harmony and wholeness in my family.
The advantage of these “big picture” intentions is that they allow for the unexpected. Usually, when we set a “resolution,” we are trying to do the opposite of something we don’t like. But the thing we don’t want is embedded in our original formulation, and we can’t escape it.
When we set an “intention,” we are opening ourselves to something we want without a specific recipe for how it will occur. But setting intentions takes care and practice. When we are in the throes of a problem, it is amazing how difficult it can be to imagine not having it!
For example, someone comes into my office with a headache. I ask them how they’d like to feel. “Pain-free,” they answer. They are still defining themselves in terms of pain. To remember a time when there was no pain takes effort.
Imagining not having our problems can be difficult and sometimes very painful. But finding that place of positive envisioning is important. It is the destination for our internal GPS. As long as the pain is part of the destination, we will continue to go around in circles, like a dog with a tin can tied to its tail.
If you are having some difficulties finding a way to formulate a positive intention, here are some you can try on for size.
“I am happy with things as they are.”
“My family is loving.”
“Sleep is comfortable and easy.”
“Eating well is a normal, enjoyable experience.”
“I am present for my child.”
“Our lives are moving in a positive direction.”
“We do our best.”
The nice thing is, the way these intentions will be realized is totally unknown. This “not trying” is more helpful than “trying” to do something that is probably doomed to failure.
In my experience, solutions are usually unimaginable. If we could have imagined them, the problems would have been solved already. When we open ourselves, answers come – and we’re more likely to have the energy and vision to follow through.
Meanwhile, a "Happy New Year" is a wonderful intention all by itself. Don’t limit it’s potential to what you already know. You may be surprised at what happens. And probably, eventually, pleased.
Liz Hannan Feb 12, 2013
I love positive attitudes, affirmations and visualizations.
They feel so right within my heart, mind and spirit.
Inhale, visualize, exhale and smile.
What a practice, eh?
Keep on dreaming those positive intentions and then watch
for and accept the miracles.
Blessings, Liz Hannan