Being With Soul
For the last six or eight months, I’ve been conducting a personal experiment. I’ll tell you about it. But first, a confession.
Deep down, I find people difficult.
To me, most people are, at least at times, unpredictable. They say one thing and mean another. They seem to like you and then they don’t. They’re there for you and suddenly, they’re not, in tiny ways and sometimes in big ways. They get emotional and over-react to stuff. Sometimes they apologize. Sometimes not.
And I also know that, many times, other people could say these same things about me.
About a year and a half ago, my eighty-plus year-old mother began having some serious emotional and cognitive issues. By now, the mom I remember seems to be, effectively, gone. Her body, vocabulary, and some of her intelligence and long term memories are still present – but she moves differently, thinks differently, expresses herself differently. When I look into this person’s eyes, I no longer see anyone I can recognize as my mother.
How can this be?
If I understand my metaphysics, personality and soul are not the same. Personality is only a radio through which the soul is transmitted. When the radio gets broken, the soul is unaffected – that soul signal just can’t get through the damaged equipment.
I’ve tried to put this idea into practice. If I meditate on my mother’s soul, that important part of her ought to feel the same, right? And once in a while, I can still feel my mom’s presence. My real mom.
But, to be honest, my success is sporadic. I still want my mom to be back in her body, the way she used to be. Or if I can’t find my mom there, I at least want the interloper that inhabits her body to go away. And when you want something too much, it’s hard to accept what you actually have.
I began to wonder: what would it be like to try this experiment with other people?
So every time I looked at another person’s face, I’d try to remember to look for soul. It was probably my imagination, but after a while, I began seeing shapes pop up above people’s heads - like the balloons in cartoons that hold the dialogue. Except that the shapes were shiny, and they held no words.
The balloons all exuded positive energy. Some were more luminous than others, but they were almost uniformly cheery and bright. The face or attitude of the person beneath hardly seemed to matter. Most people’s soul-balloons seemed like nice people. Really nice people.
Souls were easiest to see when I didn’t know the people at all. Cashiers. Gas station attendants. People waiting in line. People walking by on the sidewalk. The drivers in the other cars passing me on the highway.
I also found it pretty easy to see the souls of my clients, especially the kids. A large part of my job is to sit and listen to people, anyway, and I found that I could feel a lot more relaxed with clients when I made a conscious effort to listen to their souls. I found myself looking into their eyes more, and for longer periods. People seemed comfortable looking back into mine, too. I think we all felt better.
This is a particularly good thing, because more often than not, people walk into my office because something is wrong. They’ve just been diagnosed with breast cancer. Their child is exhibiting autism-spectrum behavior. They got a concussion on the soccer field and they can’t remember their friends’ names any more. People don’t usually come see me because they are sweating the small stuff.
But enlisting the soul seems to make even the big stuff seem more manageable. In the language of the brain’s survival system, all the different reasons for anxiety can be reduced to the simple fear of not-being. But our souls don’t seem to have this fear. So, simply a wordless intention to invite soul into the picture, seems to help take the edge off anxiety.
But even when I’m not working, looking for soul has made my world a happier place to live in. I feel more connected. Everything seems interesting, even boring things like waiting in line at the checkout counter. Fewer things make me mad, and I don’t stay mad as long. I take more deep breaths; I smile more. And other people seem to be smiling back at me.
Do you think that we might all be living in one big comic strip, with soul balloons floating above our heads? Can we influence that wordless dialogue?
I’m interested in your data. This experiment is ongoing.
Comments
Whatever that “gift” is, I think we all possess it!
In his work Parker Palmer talks about the divided life, the life divided by “soul and role”. You would enjoy it. But he also holds the conviction that our souls are best at hiding. They learn to hide right away. I have often thought that our music classes can be a safe haven in which the soul feels at least a little bit safe to peak out for a moment. As the safety increases, it stays longer.
Yes - simply singing and moving and being that vibration of music and community can let the soul free!
Julie Goodro May 14, 2012
Sounds like you have a gift to see auric energy. Sounds like we should all be making that a focus as a way to make life easier for all of us. Thanks. I’d like to share your article with some friends.